"Creating connection is a human desire. However,

the most nurturing connection is with yourself".

ABOUT ME

IRIS HAYNES

View More: http://jmjphotography.pass.us/workshop4

MEET IRIS

Welcome, I am so glad that you are here. Have a cup of tea and get to know me.

As we will be working with your personal feelings and thinking patterns, I thought it would be fair if I share some details about me and my life.

I am a passionate down to earth person; my life purpose is to create connections.

I have done a lot of personal growing over my almost 50 life years on this earth, and have realised that the most powerful connection you can create is the one you have with yourself!

I was raised by a narcissist, alcoholic father alongside my young, low-income mother who did the best she could to cope with the situation.

I grew up with a learning disability and speech defect which lead me to develop very low self-esteem well into my adult years. Much like many other young girls, I also did not like the way my body looked. I could have easily told you all my negative points but could not of recognised many strong points. 

As a result of not feeling connected to my inner-self, I compensated by pleasing others in the hope I would “be loved and feel connected” in return.

I did not like my thoughts and emotions, and was overwhelmed with their intensity, so I outsourced the maintenance of my personal feelings to family and friends.  

It worked out sometimes, but most of the time, I would still feel empty.

I pushed myself so far into a relationship only to be told “I don’t love you anymore”. These words coming from a man that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with sent me spiralling down into all the stages of grief and uncontrollable emotions.  

Then one day, out of the blue it all just clicked for me. I realised that the only way to be truly happy is to stop wasting my energy on trying to get others to love me, but to start loving myself – just the way I am!

It was at this stage that I finally grew from emotional childhood into emotional maturity through awareness of my feelings. I discovered my values and purpose in life and created a balanced sense of entitlement which made me more assertive and independent.

Here are some of the values I uncovered for myself:

 

Brené Brown “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give, and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

Connection

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give, and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Brené Brown

  • Being connected to oneself does not mean being selfish or narcissistic. Far from it, it means you know how the inner life of your mind and body works. It allows you to digest your own emotional experiences rather than outsource your moods and feelings to others around you.
  • It supports you to be in emotional adulthood instead of being a mirror of your outside life experience.
  • Having meaningful connections with others should be mutually fulfilling.
rsz_iris_haynes_-_group_work_build_your_emotional_confidence

Communication

“Language is the most powerful tool we have, for without it, we would find ourselves living in a state of emotional chaos.” A. Newberg & M.R Waldman

  • Human beings are very complex, so, on top of a message we are receiving, we also need to interpret the meaning in relation to ourselves and the sender of the message.
  • Not only do we speak through words, tone and pace but emotions also speak for us. If we are unaware of how to express them appropriately, we may mix up the message and the receiver. For example: you are angry with a co-worker but you let it out on your partner.
  • We also correspond with our self in an inner dialog. It is the most powerful way to either motivate or self-sabotage.
Bee on a flower harvesting flower nectar making honey to bring back to the hive while fertilizing plants as a symbol of purpose or biology and life cycles in the environment .

Purpose

  • We are born to have a purpose in life. We are on this earth to live and learn.
  • Your purpose should bring together your natural abilities and values.
  • Being clear about what your purpose is will give you the motivation to get out and be yourself, whilst enhancing other people’s lives.
Balance

Balance

  • For me personally, is it the trickier of my values to achieve. I love the idea of being in balance, and use mindfulness meditation and yoga to help me to create moments of balance in my life.
  • What happens more often though, instead of balance, I tend to focus attention on one area of my life. I am much better at single tasking than multitasking.
  • Balance is the illusion that you are in control of your surroundings. It’s like a seesaw, total balance is that rewarding moment of standing still in between periods of unbalance. It’s the periods of unbalance that make you appreciate the moments of balance.
  • Balance is also about justice and sharing our good fortune.
rsz_1walk_your_own_path_

Resourcefulness (Persistence)

  • Coming from a background where we did not have much, but still more than some in the world will ever have, I learned to value what is available at the time.
  • I find it a creative challenge to ‘make do’ and use resources at hand.
  • Struggling with a speech defect as a child, and living with dyslexia, often made it difficult for me to succeed at my first go.

I found my inner strength by being persistent and learned to reach success by researching, studying and making sense of the subject matter in my own terms.

PROFESSIONAL SKILLS

  • Diploma in Social Work;
  • Self-employed for over 10 years;
  • Developed and run three successful businesses.

I have done extensive research on neuroplasticity, mindfulness, love languages, motivation, habit changing, selfcare & selflove.

I am currently learning Hypnosis to as an added tool to dissolve limiting beliefs stored in the subconscious.

LIFE SKILLS

  • Overcame speech disability;
  • Living successfully with dyslexia;
  • Immigrated and settled in a new country;
  • Mindfulness Meditator since 2012
  • Black Belt in Taekwondo;
  • Ongoing active Self-development via books, retreats and business coaching.
  • Student of Yoga since 2007

LEADERSHIP ABILITIES

  • I am a natural Mediator/Diplomat
  • I am a natural Mentor/Teacher
  • I am a natural Inspirer/Believer
  • I am a natural Advocate/Rescuer

Right from my childhood I felt a strong desire to support others (and myself) to be the best version of themselves.

Now that you know a little more about me, I hope to be able to nurture your personal growth.

Let me be part of your journey of self-awareness and show you practical tools to use your natural powerful life tool – your Emotional Confidence!

Let me connect you with your natural confidence

Let's connect

If my page inspires you to increase your self-acceptance, please get in touch with any questions. I would love to hear from you and I will reply as soon as possible. Let’s work out how I can mentor you to nurture yourself more.

ADDRESS

15 Dugan Street, Kalgoorlie, WA 6430

Contact

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